{"id":75063,"date":"2026-10-29T14:55:47","date_gmt":"2026-10-29T13:55:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/?p=75063"},"modified":"2026-10-29T14:55:51","modified_gmt":"2026-10-29T13:55:51","slug":"pictures-from-within","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/pictures-from-within\/","title":{"rendered":"Pictures from Within"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p><strong>The Meditation Albums of Asya Turgeneva (1890\u20131966).<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p>In the autobiographical novel <em>Zapiski chudaka<\/em> [Notes of an eccentric], Andrei Bely describes the happy time he spent with his partner, artist Asya Turgeneva, in Ljan, Norway, a suburb of Kristiania (Oslo). In May 1912, the two had met Rudolf Steiner in Cologne. He invited them to Munich to attend the Mystery Dramas. They accepted Steiner\u2019s invitation and, during a personal conversation with him, received their first meditation text in Munich. Further meetings and instruction followed from the spiritual teacher whom they accompanied thereafter on his lecture tours throughout Europe (as long as their financial means allowed). Thus, in September 1913, they traveled to Kristiania, where Steiner held a course on the <em>Fifth Gospel<\/em> in early October. Bely describes the intensity with which they devoted themselves to their meditation work there in his novel, fictionalizing his partner under the name Nelly:<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-large is-resized\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1229\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_9-1229x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-74750\" style=\"width:450px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_9-1229x1024.jpg 1229w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_9-300x250.jpg 300w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_9-770x642.jpg 770w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_9-1536x1280.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_9.jpg 1800w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1229px) 100vw, 1229px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Fig. 1. Asya Turgeneva, Dove of Light (?), \u201c<em>L[j]an Norwegen 1913<\/em>\u201d [Ljan, Norway, 1913]. Rudolf Steiner Archive, Dornach.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>\u201cThe places changed; the unchanging center remained\u2014the work on thought; and\u2014the thoughts conceiving themselves; and\u2014Nelly blossomed passionately within them; and\u2014we knew one another\u2014each in the other; and\u2014we fathomed one another to the deepest depths; [\u2026] I found drawn in Nelly\u2019s album thought images of my life; there was\u2014a dove of light spread out; and\u2014a hexagram; and\u2014wings without heads; and\u2014a winged crystal; and\u2014a spiral ornament (the pulse of the etheric body); and\u2014a cup (or larynx\u2014the Grail), a hippopotamus (or\u2014the liver); and\u2014snakes (the intestines); I know that the drawings are only symbols for the rhythms of the living impulse that penetrated us as a ray of thought.\u201d<span id='easy-footnote-1-75063' class='easy-footnote-margin-adjust'><\/span><span class='easy-footnote'><a href='https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/pictures-from-within\/#easy-footnote-bottom-1-75063' title='Andrei Belyi, &lt;em&gt;Zapiski chudaka&lt;\/em&gt; [Notes of an eccentric] (Moscow: Gelikon, 1922); Andrej Belyj, &lt;em&gt;Aufzeichnungen eines Sonderlings&lt;\/em&gt; (Dornach: Verlag am Goetheanum, 2012), 48 f.'><sup>1<\/sup><\/a><\/span> (see Figs. 1 and 3)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It is well known that both Turgeneva and Bely recorded their inner experiences on the anthroposophical training path in diaries and albums. Since they only had a rudimentary command of the German language, they did so through images, which they then presented to Steiner. International research on Andrei Bely has, until now, proceeded on the assumption that, apart from the 124 sheets of meditation drawings by Bely held in the Rudolf Steiner Archive and a few other bundles in Russian archives, no other records had survived. A little over a year ago, however, Silvana Gabrielli, who was working at the Archive at the time, discovered Turgeneva\u2019s drawings in the storage area of the Archive. In an unlabeled package wrapped in packing paper, four sketchbooks were found containing a large number of drawings in pencil, charcoal, and color from the years 1911 to 1917. They span a period ranging from shortly before the couple\u2019s first encounter with Steiner to the year following Bely\u2019s departure from Dornach. Artistically, they trace the path of Turgeneva\u2014a trained engraver\u2014from pencil studies of the sense-perceptible world, through colored depictions of inner experiences and visions, to a renewed engagement with printmaking and the development of a light and dark technique which she refined into an anthroposophical graphic style under Steiner\u2019s guidance in the years that followed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The Discovered Meditation Albums<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The four albums, which, at first glance, appear rather unremarkable, are numbered on the covers in Roman numerals I\u2013IV (see title image). Many of the drawings they contain are accompanied by brief comments, mostly written by Turgeneva\u2014first in Russian in pencil and later in German translation with a ballpoint pen. What Turgeneva noted in a cover letter accompanying Bely\u2019s meditation drawings likely applies to these as well: she added comments in Russian to the drawings immediately after her visits to Steiner and then retranslated them into German in August 1966, a few months before her death on October 16.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In her own drawings, Turgeneva sometimes added place and year in ballpoint pen, often followed by a question mark. In some cases, she also accompanied her drawings with more detailed explanations of her own in German or Russian. And on two occasions, there is a comment by Steiner in his own handwriting\u2014so he would even write directly on the works of his esoteric students.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-large is-resized\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"751\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_10-751x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-74752\" style=\"width:350px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_10-751x1024.jpg 751w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_10-220x300.jpg 220w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_10-770x1050.jpg 770w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_10.jpg 1100w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 751px) 100vw, 751px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Fig. 2. Asya Turgeneva, \u201c<em>Giseh<\/em>\u201d [Giza], Egypt, 1911. Rudolf Steiner Archive, Dornach.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>Album I contains drawings in pencil and color; both sides of the pages were used. It seems that these drawings were started during a trip the couple took together between December 1910 to April 1911 when traveled through Italy to Tunisia, Egypt, and Palestine, and then returned to Russia by ship across the Mediterranean and Black Seas. The pencil drawings depict famous sites, landscapes, and people from Russia, Palestine, and Egypt. (see Fig. 2)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>On the other side\u2014where the Roman numeral I appears\u2014the album begins with colorful images and pencil drawings from Vitznau on Lake Lucerne [Switzerland], where the couple spent October 1912. Here are drawn winged beasts identified by \u201cDr. St[einer]\u201d as \u201cmist demons\u201d [<em>Nebeld\u00e4monen<\/em>], various bird-like beings, symbols, distorted faces, and animals, which, according to Steiner\u2019s comments, mirror the inner imaginative life of his esoteric pupil. The album ends with drawings from Berlin, where Turgeneva and Bely stayed in December 1912.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The second album opens with entries from December 13, 1912, in Berlin. It begins with illustrated descriptions of specific meditation exercises and the resulting experiences and continues through the first months of 1913.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Album III consists of perforated sheets that were torn out to be painted on and then placed back between the book covers. It contains carefully executed color images as well as pencil sketches dating from 1911 (Russia) to 1917 (Dornach), thus encompassing both the earliest and the latest images in the collection.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Album IV also contains works in pencil and color; they span the period from 1914 to Christmas 1917.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Meeting with Andrei Bely<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Asya Turgeneva, born on June 12, 1890, near Moscow, was a descendant of the writer Ivan Turgenev on her father\u2019s side and of the anarchist Mikhail Bakunin on her mother\u2019s side. In 1909, she met Boris Bugayev, who by that time was already a controversial poet of the Russian Symbolist movement and published under the pseudonym Andrei Bely. Turgeneva was nineteen years old and was training as an engraver in Brussels. Their first conversation was prompted by a photograph of Steiner, and they discussed his ideas. Turgeneva offered to draw a portrait of Bely, and the two grew closer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Turgeneva was interested in occult literature and had also read Steiner\u2019s <em>How Does One Gain Knowledge of the Higher Worlds?<\/em> and <em>Christianity as Mystical Fact<\/em>. Again and again, she was haunted by mediumistic phenomena. In Brussels, where she completed her training and was accompanied by Bely, the two encountered strange figures and had an identical feverish dream. This prompted them to make a spontaneous trip to Cologne in early May 1912 to attend a lecture by Steiner. Although Turgeneva did not speak German, she felt as though she had found her \u201cown true home.\u201d The personal conversation the following day also left an indelible impression. Steiner welcomed her warmly and invited her to Munich for the summer. There, in July 1912, they received their first instruction in anthroposophical meditation. Turgeneva recalls:<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignleft size-large is-resized\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1336\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_11-1336x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-74754\" style=\"width:450px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_11-1336x1024.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_11-300x230.jpg 300w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_11-770x590.jpg 770w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_11.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Fig. 3. Asya Turgeneva, \u201c<em>\u041f\u0435\u0447\u0435\u043d\u044c \/ Leber \/ \u0416\u0438\u0432\u043e\u0442 \/ Bauch \/ Degerloch<\/em>\u201d [Liver \/ Liver \/ Belly \/ Belly \/ Degerloch], November 1912. Rudolf Steiner Archive, Dornach.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>\u201cSo, with our hearts pounding, we made our way to Adalbertstrasse at the appointed time. Passing through a rather shabby stairwell, we entered an apartment crowded with people waiting. After a long wait, we were ushered in to see Dr. Steiner, who, without any preamble, wrote out a verse for each of us to meditate on in his beautiful, careful handwriting. Miss von Sivers translated mine for me and dismissed us with the promise to call us back soon. [\u2026] A new phase of life spanning several years began on that day. Experiences, evoked by the verse we were given, began to play an important role in our lives. Dr. Steiner encouraged us to record what we had experienced, explained it, and offered further insights.\u201d<span id='easy-footnote-2-75063' class='easy-footnote-margin-adjust'><\/span><span class='easy-footnote'><a href='https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/pictures-from-within\/#easy-footnote-bottom-2-75063' title='Assya Turgeniev, &lt;em&gt;Reminiscences of Rudolf Steiner and Work on the First Goetheanum&lt;\/em&gt; (Forest Row, UK: Temple Lodge, 2003); first published as Assja Turgenieff, &lt;em&gt;Erinnerungen an Rudolf Steiner und die Arbeit am ersten Goetheanum&lt;\/em&gt; (Stuttgart: [Verlag Freies Geistesleben], 1972), 26 f. [The author\u2019s name is transliterated differently here than in the article, likely with influence from the German \u2013 Tr.]'><sup>2<\/sup><\/a><\/span> In his autobiographical writings, Bely also mentions diaries and reports that they had written for Steiner. In a letter to Turgeneva\u2019s sister Natasha, he wrote in December 1912, \u201cFrom Vitznau onward, we prepared many things for the Doctor: each of us prepared a notebook.\u201d He further notes, \u201cStarting in Basel, Asya drew everything she saw for the Doctor.\u201d<span id='easy-footnote-3-75063' class='easy-footnote-margin-adjust'><\/span><span class='easy-footnote'><a href='https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/pictures-from-within\/#easy-footnote-bottom-3-75063' title='Daniela Ricci, \u201c\u0418\u0437 \u0430\u0440\u0445\u0438\u0432\u0430 \u041d. \u0410. \u0422\u0443\u0440\u0433\u0435\u043d\u0435\u0432\u043e\u0439: \u041f\u0438\u0441\u044c\u043c\u0430 \u042d\u043b\u043b\u0438\u0441\u0430, \u0410. \u0411\u0435\u043b\u043e\u0433\u043e \u0438 \u0410. \u0410. \u0422\u0443\u0440\u0433\u0435\u043d\u0435\u0432\u043e\u0439\u201d [Iz arkhiva N. A. Turgenevoi: Pis\u2019ma Ellisa, A. Belogo i A. A. Turgenevoi] [From the archive of N. A. Turgeneva: Letters of Ellis, A. Bely, and A. A. Turgeneva], &lt;em&gt;Europa Orientalis&lt;\/em&gt; 14, no. 2 (1995): 329.'><sup>3<\/sup><\/a><\/span> Turgeneva\u2019s first album actually begins with the entry \u201c<em>in Wizzenau \/ 2 \u043e\u043a\u0442\u044f\u0431\u0440\u044c<\/em>\u201d [in Vitznau \/ October 2]. There, on Lake Lucerne, they spent the month of October and intensively practiced the meditations assigned to them. In November, they were in Degerloch near Stuttgart with Bely\u2019s friend Ellis (Lev Kobylinsky) and his partner Johanna van der Meulen, who, at the time, were still students of Steiner\u2019s esoteric teachings. Degerloch also appears as a location in the first album (see Fig. 3). In December, Turgeneva and Bely moved to Berlin, where they participated in the Theosophical Society\u2019s Christmas program. Turgeneva recalls the \u201cunforgettable warmth\u201d and profound sense of being deeply moved by Steiner\u2019s Christmas lecture, combined with an \u201cintensification of experiences unlike anything before.\u201d<span id='easy-footnote-4-75063' class='easy-footnote-margin-adjust'><\/span><span class='easy-footnote'><a href='https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/pictures-from-within\/#easy-footnote-bottom-4-75063' title='See footnote 2.'><sup>4<\/sup><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Life in Steiner&#8217;s Circle<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Through February 1913, Turgeneva and Bely remained in Steiner\u2019s circle, were involved in the founding of the Anthroposophical Society, and joined the Society on December 28, 1912. Afterward, they were forced to retreat to Volhynia (now Ukraine) to the estate of Turgeneva\u2019s stepfather, as their funds ran out. In May, they were able to travel to Helsinki for the lecture series on <em>The Occult Foundations of the Bhagavad Gita<\/em> and were admitted to Steiner\u2019s Esoteric School.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It was not until August 1913 that they returned to Germany and presented the results of their meditative work to Steiner in Munich, which he discussed and commented on at length. The autumn was once again marked by intensive meditation exercises and by the staggering impression that Steiner\u2019s lectures on the <em>Fifth Gospel<\/em> had on them: \u201cAs the lectures progressed, the banally decorated hall with its doves painted on the ceiling gradually faded from view. The doves fluttered away, and something like a celestial dome, populated by beings of light, descended upon us. And below, those whom one could not see, yet whose presence one could sense, stood in a row .\u00a0.\u00a0.\u00a0. In the middle was Rudolf Steiner, so tender and fragile in his black frock coat, his gaze wide open to what he was beholding. [\u2026] Deeply moved himself, his voice would sometimes fail him; the words came tentatively, spoken with great effort.\u201d<span id='easy-footnote-5-75063' class='easy-footnote-margin-adjust'><\/span><span class='easy-footnote'><a href='https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/pictures-from-within\/#easy-footnote-bottom-5-75063' title='Ibid.'><sup>5<\/sup><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Deeply impressed by these lectures, Turgeneva and Bely decided to devote their lives entirely to the anthroposophical cause. In February 1914, they moved to Switzerland, living first in Basel, then Arlesheim, and finally at Blumenweg 3a in Dornach, within view of Villa Hansi [Steiner\u2019s residence]. From then on, Turgeneva put her artistic capacities at the service of the anthroposophical movement: first, by playing a leading role in the woodcarving work for the First Goetheanum; then, by engaging in collaboration with Steiner to develop a hatching technique for light and dark drawing; and, finally, by playing an essential role in the design of the colored windows for the Goetheanum. After Steiner\u2019s death, she curated the first exhibitions of his artworks and chalkboard drawings. She also contributed to the creation of the Collected Works by transforming Steiner\u2019s chalkboard drawings from his lectures into line hatchings suitable for print and also by designing book covers.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-large is-resized\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"751\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_15-751x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-74762\" style=\"width:350px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_15-751x1024.jpg 751w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_15-220x300.jpg 220w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_15-770x1050.jpg 770w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_15.jpg 1100w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 751px) 100vw, 751px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Fig. 7. Asya Turgeneva, \u201c<em>Ein Erleben 1918<\/em>\u201d [An experience, 1918]. Rudolf Steiner Archive, Dornach.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p><strong>Recurring Motifs in the Meditation Albums<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Thematically, Turgenev\u2019s meditation albums can be divided into four categories, covering the drawings from 1912 to 1916. Around 1917, there was a transition to a new light and dark technique and to a form of sacred art that expresses spiritual experience through religious symbols. (see Fig. 7)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In Turgeneva\u2019s meditative images, animal figures appear\u2014both realistic and fantastical\u2014which Steiner characterized as imaginations of individual body parts or specific soul moods. Thus, the meditator\u2019s \u201cliver\u201d appeared in the form of a horned animal (see Fig. 3), which Bely designated as a \u201chippopotamus\u201d in a letter and also in the aforementioned quote. Turgeneva, in turn, imagined the \u201cbelly\u201d or \u201cintestines\u201d as snakes. Bely commented on this in early December 1912 in a letter to Natasha, writing, \u201cMeditation develops the imagination; you then see a variety of things in your imagination. But you cannot make sense of it: the Doctor\u2019s indications, however, are astonishingly real [\u2026]. He explained to Asya a series of images as self-perceptions of the etheric organs (hippopotamus\u2014liver, heart\u2014thyroid, snakes\u2014stomach).\u201d<span id='easy-footnote-6-75063' class='easy-footnote-margin-adjust'><\/span><span class='easy-footnote'><a href='https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/pictures-from-within\/#easy-footnote-bottom-6-75063' title='See footnote 3, p. 330.'><sup>6<\/sup><\/a><\/span> Turgeneva also refers to this meeting with the \u201cDoctor\u201d in her memoirs and recounts his words from memory: \u201cJust as you perceive the reflections of the \u2018I\u2019 in the physical body through the senses, so too do you see the reflection of your astral body in the etheric body, as well as what comes from the Akashic Records. Later, you will come to know yourself as a whole.\u201d<span id='easy-footnote-7-75063' class='easy-footnote-margin-adjust'><\/span><span class='easy-footnote'><a href='https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/pictures-from-within\/#easy-footnote-bottom-7-75063' title='See footnote 2.'><sup>7<\/sup><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignleft size-large is-resized\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1229\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_12-1229x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-74756\" style=\"width:450px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_12-1229x1024.jpg 1229w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_12-300x250.jpg 300w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_12-770x642.jpg 770w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_12-1536x1280.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_12.jpg 1800w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1229px) 100vw, 1229px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Fig. 4. Asya Turgeneva, \u201c<em>Dr.: \u041f\u0440\u0438\u0441\u0442\u0435\u0440 (\u0431\u044b\u0432\u0448\u0430\u044f \u0438\u043d\u043a\u0430\u0440\u043d\u0430\u0446\u0438\u044f) \/ fr\u00fchere [I]nkarnation \/ \u043f\u0440\u0438ster [Priester] \/ 14 \u043e\u043a\u0442.<\/em>\u201d [Dr.: Priest (former incarnation) \/ former incarnation \/ priest \/ Oct. 14], October 14, 1912. Rudolf Steiner Archive, Dornach.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>Another theme in the meditation albums is recollections of past incarnations. In her <em>Reminiscences<\/em>, Turgeneva reports that, during an audience, Steiner said of one of her drawings: \u201cAnd that is you in one of your past lives.\u201d<span id='easy-footnote-8-75063' class='easy-footnote-margin-adjust'><\/span><span class='easy-footnote'><a href='https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/pictures-from-within\/#easy-footnote-bottom-8-75063' title='Ibid.'><sup>8<\/sup><\/a><\/span> Turgeneva\u2019s inner agitation at this revelation is mirrored in the confusion of language and script that crept into her transcription of Steiner\u2019s comment on this drawing dated October 14, 1912. Instead of the Russian word for priest (<em>\u0441\u0432\u044f\u0449\u0435\u043d\u043d\u0438\u043a<\/em>), she wrote \u201c<em>\u043f\u0440\u0438\u0441\u0442\u0435\u0440<\/em>\u201d [<em>prister<\/em>, the German <em>Priester<\/em> in Cyrillic letters] but in German she used Cyrillic letters and switched to Latin in the middle of the word: \u201c<em>\u043f\u0440\u0438ster<\/em>\u201d [Cyrillic <em>pri-<\/em>, then Latin <em>-ster<\/em>]. (see Fig. 4)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>During this audience, Steiner urged her to work on recalling her past lives. Consequently, there are several drawings titled \u201c<em>Erinnerung<\/em>\u201d [memory] that refer to incarnations in a medieval monastic order and in Egypt.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignleft size-large is-resized\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1336\" height=\"1024\" src=\"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_14-1336x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-74760\" style=\"width:450px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_14-1336x1024.jpg 1336w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_14-300x230.jpg 300w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_14-770x590.jpg 770w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_14.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1336px) 100vw, 1336px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Fig. 5. Asya Turgeneva, \u201c<em>Ich \/ I[m] Traum \/ M\u00fcnchen [19]13<\/em>\u201d [I \/ in a dream \/ Munich, 1913]. Rudolf Steiner Archive, Dornach.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>Another recurring theme in the meditation drawings is dreams. Bely reports that the changes Steiner introduced to his meditative work in December 1912 led to \u201cstrange states of consciousness\u201d and to an alteration in the relationship between waking and sleeping.<span id='easy-footnote-9-75063' class='easy-footnote-margin-adjust'><\/span><span class='easy-footnote'><a href='https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/pictures-from-within\/#easy-footnote-bottom-9-75063' title='Andrej Belyj, &lt;em&gt;Geheime Aufzeichnungen: Erinnerungen an das Leben im Umkreis Rudolf Steiners (1911-1915)&lt;\/em&gt; [Secret records: Memories of life in Rudolf Steiner\u2019s circle (1911\u20131915)], 2nd edn. (Dornach: Verlag am Goetheanum, 2002); Andrei Bely, \u201c\u041c\u0430\u0442\u0435\u0440\u0438\u0430\u043b \u043a \u0431\u0438\u043e\u0433\u0440\u0430\u0444\u0438\u0438\u201d [Material for a biography], in &lt;em&gt;\u0410\u043d\u0434\u0440\u0435\u0439 \u0411\u0435\u043b\u044b\u0439: \u0410\u0432\u0442\u043e\u0431\u0438\u043e\u0433\u0440\u0430\u0444\u0438\u0447\u0435\u0441\u043a\u0438\u0435 \u0441\u0432\u043e\u0434\u044b; \u041c\u0430\u0442\u0435\u0440\u0438\u0430\u043b \u043a \u0431\u0438\u043e\u0433\u0440\u0430\u0444\u0438\u0438; \u0420\u0430\u043a\u0443\u0440\u0441 \u043a \u0434\u043d\u0435\u0432\u043d\u0438\u043a\u0443; \u0420\u0435\u0433\u0438\u0441\u0442\u0440\u0430\u0446\u0438\u043e\u043d\u043d\u044b\u0435 \u0437\u0430\u043f\u0438\u0441\u0438; \u0414\u043d\u0435\u0432\u043d\u0438\u043a\u0438 1930-\u0445 \u0433\u043e\u0434\u043e\u0432&lt;\/em&gt; [Andrei Bely: Autobiographical accounts; Biographical material; Excerpts from a diary; Registration records; Diaries of the 1930s], ed. A. V. Lavrov and John Malmstad, &lt;em&gt;Literaturnoe nasledstvo&lt;\/em&gt; 105 (Moscow: Nauka, 2016).'><sup>9<\/sup><\/a><\/span> In <em>Knowledge of the Higher Worlds<\/em>, Steiner notes that through the meditative life and the development of the etheric body, consciousness changes during dreaming. Dreams would cease to \u201cmerely reflect facts of the physical environment or one\u2019s own sensory body\u201d; images that are \u201cexpressions of things and conditions of another world\u201d would mingle with the dream images.<span id='easy-footnote-10-75063' class='easy-footnote-margin-adjust'><\/span><span class='easy-footnote'><a href='https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/pictures-from-within\/#easy-footnote-bottom-10-75063' title='Rudolf Steiner, &lt;em&gt;Knowledge of the Higher Worlds: How Is It Attained?&lt;\/em&gt;, CW 10 (Tiburon, CA: Chadwick Library Editions, 2020).'><sup>10<\/sup><\/a><\/span> One of Turgeneva\u2019s dream images depicts three figures, with the figure on the left labeled \u201cI\u201d [<em>Ich<\/em>], thus appearing to represent the artist herself. The outlines of the two figures behind her appear to be of masculine stature and could refer to Bely. The image is dated \u201cMunich [19]13,\u201d meaning it was created during her visit to see the Mystery Dramas in August 1913. On the left side of the image two grotesque faces can be recognized in the landscape along with arrows indicating various directions of movement. Steiner wrote in his own hand on the back of this sheet: \u201cObjectification of certain fundamental feelings that live between you.\u201d (see Fig. 5)<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"1500\" height=\"1000\" src=\"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_13.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-74758\" style=\"width:450px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_13.jpg 1500w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_13-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_13-770x513.jpg 770w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_13-1155x770.jpg 1155w, https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/G2026_42_Web_13-370x247.jpg 370w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 1500px) 100vw, 1500px\" \/><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Fig. 6. Asya Turgeneva, \u201c<em>Und ich hatte ein solche[s G]ef\u00fchl [\u2026]<\/em>\u201d [And I had such a feeling \u2026], December 13, 1912. Rudolf Steiner Archive, Dornach.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>A central theme of the albums is, of course, the meditative practices themselves, the progression of which Turgeneva continuously records. Figure 6 shows the third sheet in a series. Here, the meditator is depicted lying down. She senses her \u2018I\u2019 [labeled \u201c<em>Ich<\/em>\u201d in the figure] above her head and perceives her body as \u201cvery large and full of warmth\u201d [<em>meine Leib sehr gross und warm<\/em>]. Her consciousness gazes into a \u201cdark, cold room\u201d [<em>dunk[len] kalt[en] Raum<\/em>] and suddenly beholds a \u201cgolden cross\u201d [<em>gold[enes] Kreuz<\/em>] which, in the depiction, is shown as a sevenfold rosy cross. She wants to stop the cross, but it floats away \u201cvery quickly\u201d [<em>sehr s[ch]nell<\/em>]. The description ends with the words, \u201cSo I remained for a long time in solitude and waiting\u201d [<em>So bl[ieb] ich lange [Z]eit in [E]insamkeit und warten[d]<\/em>]. The text goes on to mention a \u201cvery large eagle\u201d [<em>sehr grossen Adler<\/em>] and a figure that was drawn in yellow at the very bottom. (see Fig. 6)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In Turgeneva\u2019s albums, the person meditating is often depicted lying down. Accordingly, Bely\u2019s writings contain descriptions of a form of meditation that was evidently practiced while falling asleep and consisted of consciously experiencing the astral body and \u2018I\u2019 leaving the physical and etheric bodies at the moment of falling asleep in order to thus ascend into the spiritual world while in full consciousness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Transition to a Light and Dark Art<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>During the war years, meditative work moved into the background. For one thing, Steiner suspended the Esoteric School at the outbreak of the war; for another, the strenuous physical labor involved in building meant that all one\u2019s strength was focused on bringing this communal work of art to fruition. Consequently, there are only a few drawings from 1915 and 1916 in the albums.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In the summer of 1916, Bely was called up for military service and had to leave Dornach. Turgeneva fell seriously ill that winter after his departure; her strength was completely exhausted. Along with her life companion, the inner experiences of her early years with anthroposophy also vanished. \u201cAs if through a glass wall,\u201d she felt \u201cseparated from the experience of spirit,\u201d she notes in her memoirs.<span id='easy-footnote-11-75063' class='easy-footnote-margin-adjust'><\/span><span class='easy-footnote'><a href='https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/pictures-from-within\/#easy-footnote-bottom-11-75063' title='See footnote 2.'><sup>11<\/sup><\/a><\/span> Her convalescence lasted several months, during which Turgeneva had the time and leisure to return to graphic art, particularly etching. Dissatisfied with the results of her efforts, she turned to Steiner, who repeatedly offered her advice on the matter. Her account of her fruitful collaboration with him in this field, which spanned several years, is published in the volume on the Goetheanum windows (GA K 12). Through this collaboration, Turgeneva discovered a new hatching technique that dispenses entirely with outline and works solely from the hatched surface.<span id='easy-footnote-12-75063' class='easy-footnote-margin-adjust'><\/span><span class='easy-footnote'><a href='https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/pictures-from-within\/#easy-footnote-bottom-12-75063' title='See Nana Badenberg, \u201cIntroduction,\u201d in Rudolf Steiner, &lt;em&gt;Zeichnungen: Karikaturen, Kost\u00fcme, Physiognomisches&lt;\/em&gt; [Drawings: Caricatures, costumes, physiognomic studies], GA K 17\u201322, 25, 48\/49 (Basel: Rudolf Steiner Verlag, 2025), 9.'><sup>12<\/sup><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The last sheets inserted into her albums bear witness to this transition. There is, for example, a charcoal drawing from 1917, which she executed as an etching that same year under the title Steiner had given it, \u201c<em>Eine Tr\u00e4umerei<\/em>\u201d [A reverie]. Another etching, from 1920 and titled \u201c<em>Eine Vision<\/em>\u201d [A vision], probably dates originally from 1914; in any case, there is a preliminary sketch dated to that year, as well as a version in blue, of a Madonna on steps, behind whom rises a double-domed building (Album III). Steiner had also sketched this \u201c<em>Madonna auf den Stufen<\/em>\u201d [Madonna on the steps] in order to show Turgeneva how a moving aura of light could be rendered in black-and-white technique.<span id='easy-footnote-13-75063' class='easy-footnote-margin-adjust'><\/span><span class='easy-footnote'><a href='https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/pictures-from-within\/#easy-footnote-bottom-13-75063' title='See ibid., 10.'><sup>13<\/sup><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In her account, Turgeneva also mentions the motif of the \u201c<em>Guter Hirte<\/em>\u201d [Good shepherd], to which Steiner evidently gave the title \u201c<em>Ein Erleben<\/em>\u201d [An experience], and which she executed as an etching in 1918. She recalls that he praised the attempt \u201cto carry an inner luminosity through the entire figure\u201d and the fact \u201cthat the auric element is felt throughout the whole body.\u201d This, he said, was connected with \u201cafter-death impulses\u201d that must now intervene in humanity. The aura around the head, however, did look \u201clike straw\u201d and absolutely had to be rendered differently (see Fig. 7).<span id='easy-footnote-14-75063' class='easy-footnote-margin-adjust'><\/span><span class='easy-footnote'><a href='https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/pictures-from-within\/#easy-footnote-bottom-14-75063' title='Assya Turgenieff, \u201cRecollections of the Beginning of Studies in Light and Dark,\u201d in &lt;em&gt;Conversations about Painting with Rudolf Steiner: Recollections of Five Pioneers of the New Art Impulse&lt;\/em&gt; (Great Barrington, MA: SteinerBooks, 2008); cf. Assja Turgenieff, \u201cErinnerungen an die Anf\u00e4nge der Hell-Dunkel-Studien\u201d [Recollections of the beginnings of the light and dark studies], in Rudolf Steiner&lt;em&gt;, Die Goetheanum-Fenster&lt;\/em&gt; [The Goetheanum windows], text vol., GA K 12 (Dornach: Rudolf Steiner Verlag, 1996), 52.'><sup>14<\/sup><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Turgeneva\u2019s etchings point to a new technique of artistic creation, one that works with light and darkness. Whereas in the meditation albums the artist still worked in an entirely classical manner, with outlines in pencil that were subsequently filled in with color, after her serious illness and the drying up of her intense inner meditative experiences, she found, in dialogue with Steiner, an art form that stands closer to the anthroposophical artistic impulse because it creates out of the surface. During this transitional phase, Turgeneva worked with religious symbols that were grounded in her own spiritual experiences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity\"\/>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Translation <\/strong>Joshua Kelberman<br><strong>Title image <\/strong>Asya Turgeneva, <em>Meditation Albums I\u2013IV, 1911\u20131917<\/em>, Rudolf Steiner Archive, Dornach.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Meditation Albums of Asya Turgeneva (1890\u20131966). In the autobiographical novel Zapiski chudaka [Notes of an eccentric], Andrei Bely describes the happy time he spent with his partner, artist Asya Turgeneva, in Ljan, Norway, a suburb of Kristiania (Oslo). In May 1912, the two had met Rudolf Steiner in Cologne. He invited them to Munich to attend the Mystery Dramas. They accepted Steiner\u2019s invitation and, during a personal conversation with him, received their first meditation text in Munich. Further meetings [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":20797,"featured_media":74749,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8788,9183,8846],"tags":[11852,8798,11853],"class_list":["post-75063","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-essay-en","category-general-anthroposophy","category-history","tag-ausgabe-42-2026-en","tag-deepening","tag-english-issue-44-2026"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75063","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/20797"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=75063"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75063\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":75090,"href":"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/75063\/revisions\/75090"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/74749"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=75063"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=75063"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dasgoetheanum.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=75063"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}